Dancin’ Fool

I love to dance. I have danced most of my life, all different styles, either in classes or out with friends and I have performed as a dancer many times as well. I stopped taking classes about a year before I got pregnant bec. of commuting, classes were at night, etc. I couldn’t deal. When we moved out of the mountains and back to suburbia, I wanted to sign up for classes to eventually dance and perform with a troupe. I have been doing belly dancing for several years and this is something I really love. It’s such a feminine dance, very flowy and graceful and different than any kind of dance I’ve done before. I think it’s special and something good for all women to do. In fact, it was started as a dance for women by women not what the common general consensus about this dance form is out there.

Well, I had a whole host of back problems from pregnancy and especially after so I have not danced at all in the past almost 5 years! I think this is the longest I’ve ever gone without a dance class of some sort. My massage therapist even said to me the last time I went for a massage when my back went out, ” your hips don’t move when you walk.” I almost died when she said that. I said, “but I used to be a belly dancer – I’ve even performed!” and she told me to get back to it asap bec. the problem in my hip area could be helped by it. Wow, I totally was stunned over that statement. How far away from my true self I’ve drifted so much so that my hips don’t move when I walk! I do have lots of pain deep in my hip and low back so I think I’ve over – protected myself in this area.

I’ve been looking into classes and can’t find one that I either like (I’m not a beginner but haven’t danced in a while) or a time to take it. So, while out shopping lately, I decided to check out dvd’s for sale, something I actually never do but felt compelled to just take a look for some reason. I got 2 belly dancing dvd’s to try that I thought looked good and both instructors on 2 diff. dvd’s are named Melissa. How weird! My name. I thought that was a good sign. One of them lives and dances in NYC, my home town and she is also a pilates instructor, something I’ve been doing alot of to help my back get better. This was it. Now I can do it at home on my time until I get back to the level I was at to attempt dancing with others again.

I started dancing last week, and it feels so good. Like riding a bike, really. I think my body is happy to being doing it again, too.  I keep thinking about it every day and hope my son will take a nap so I can dance!  It even felt good on my hips and low back. I should have started this sooner. It feeds my soul to dance and I’m happy after a workout of dancing unlike after a pilates or yoga class or using the elliptical trainer or walking. I may feel good that I worked out but not joyful inside like I do with dancing.

It’s nice to feel like I’m back to being me. I didn’t realize how much I missed being a dancer.

Why Do There Need To Be Toy Guns?

I’ve been going around xmas shopping lately and I’ve noticed in some stores there are large displays of “pretend hunting” accessories and military stuff like big toy rifles, hand guns, army fatigues and helmets, etc and then there is the plain ole water gun, too. I am so turned off by these type of toys. I always say that we won’t have toy guns in our house for our son to play with but my husband says it will be inevitable that he will play with a toy gun or sword or other type of weapon while still young. I remind him that it won’t be by us promoting it in our home.

Why is this promoted by parents? Why is this ok to have your young child exposed to weapons and learn early on how to be aggressive towards others or animals and that this is fun, productive, imaginative play? I can think of many other types of fun, productive, imaginative play that my son -even when he’s ten yrs. old – can do besides role playing killing animals or his friends.

I know this is a touchy subject and that many people are into hunting. Did you see on the news this past week how in the Mid-West there was talk of a rare, albino deer roaming around. Some woman thought, yeah, let’s kill the rare white deer and she hunted it down and killed it. This seems f*cked up to me because it was a RARE being, maybe it should have stayed in the forest instead of being a kill for you? And a woman did it. That seemed more odd to me bec. woman are the nurturers and are usually more intuitive. How out of touch so many people are. I find it very sad and even barbaric that someone wanted to kill such a rare and beautiful being. I don’t even think she was going to eat it, they didn’t say in the story. It was all about the “get” and her family being so proud of her kill.

I personally think if we can lead by example and teach to take life for food and sustenance in a humane way for the hunters and not in a cruel way – killing just to kill – then maybe we don’t need to be indoctrinated into thinking that playing with weapons are fun toys and won’t cause harm when the kids move into the real deal with real guns.

I can say that at one of the preschool programs my son attends there are some toy water guns that are small, they fit in his 3.5 yr. old hand very well and he and this older (5 yr old) boy play with them alot. They run around and pretend to shoot the animals roaming around the grounds there. Usually in the area they are playing are just cats, dogs and chickens but there is talk amongst them to go over and shoot the horses and other farm animals. Obviously, the 5 yr old knows about guns and what they do and has shown my son what to do and my sweet boy is totally into playing like this. I get upset that he is exposed to it without my knowledge, plays with it and most of all, enjoys pretend killing. The 5 yr. old’s mom seems to have zero problem with this behavior.

Sometimes, when we leave there, I have to say to him, “put the toy gun down, we have to go home now, put down the gun”, etc. He is so hyped up and aggressive it’s hard to calm him down and he even bit my arm when I was strapping him into the carseat the other day! Needless to say, (for several reasons not jut this one), I am not re-enrolling for the winter.

I just don’t think something controversial like a toy gun should be around very young kids without a parent knowing about it. Obviously, I am hyper-sensitive on this subject and other moms are not. I think guns are a controversial subject like religion and politics and if he was exposed to that without my knowledge, I would be pissed over that, too. Why should aggressive play with guns be ok to not tell the mothers about it? Why can’t the teachers step in and say, be gentle to the animals? Or are they just not paying attention?

It’s funny, he goes to a Waldorf program, too and is always so happy and gentle and seems very aware when there and even when we leave there. He’s very easy going so the aggressive behavior is really out of character for him. He even said to me when I dropped him off at the other program the other day, I want to go to (the waldorf program) not (other program). Maybe he’s aware already of the different energy he is exposed to and what he is preferring even though he does wind up having fun at the other program and he’s there only for 3 hours. I still get a sick feeling in my gut when I see him playing with guns and hunting down the cats and dogs and chickens and making gun noises when he pretends to kill them (although he says he’s “getting” them, maybe he thinks it’s like tag?).  I find it even worse when there are like 4 little boys playing this game running around being so aggressive.

I know, I’m a pacifist pansy, I’m in the smallest percentile of this country’s view on what is ok to expose our kids to. Guns, to me, are just not ok or something I can overlook or feel good about that he is learning in school.